GHOSTS

  

The past few months have been incredibly painful and challenging for all of us, and I believed I had seen everything in my long and strenuous life? The past two years have demonstrated that there is no final pain in our existence something worse can always happen...

 For the past seventy years I always had nightmares and sometimes dreams but these days ghosts of all kind are invading me, ghosts of the past, ghosts of the present, and the future ghosts.    Every night for the past two months, I wake up around 2 am and see walking around in the room an apparition, then it comes closer to my bed and whispers in my ears… It whispers stories, stories that I know very well, or unfamiliar stories, but these days always painful stories…

   APPARITION, WHO ARE YOU???                                                                                                                     

And the answer is always the same even if the apparition looks different…

-I am a ghost!

 Really? a ghost? What is a ghost? Is it the soul of a dead person? An immaterial spirit created usually as a vague, gloomy, and cunning form? wandering among and haunting living persons. The ghost is whispering in my ear:                  

-Tell me, tell me more about your life, I left you when you were still young and full of desires, you wanted to be an actor and then decided to go to the US, tell me, tell me more.....You stay silent?                                                        

The ghost is smiling and adds: 

-Remember you were ready to make the sky explode, and your strength was huge, and you wanted everything and were ready for anything... what happened? You are now waiting for …not even Godot… You have no idea for what you are waiting for... Ah, I see… you are going to complain again about your difficult life? Do you sometimes think about your luck? Do you realize how many of your very good friends died the past 2 years? Every day you hear about the death of somebody you called a friend… so, stop being self-centered, stop bringing up your dramas…… See life, see life, see your luck…       

GO AWAY GHOST

I do not suppose you have to believe in ghosts to know that we are all haunted, yes all of us, by things we can see and feel and guess, even if sometimes we do not realize it. We are all ghosts. We all carry, inside us, people who came before us. May be before we die, it is our ghosts we see. Ghosts do not really invade us, no they do not, they are with us because we need them, they are part of us...And even dreams are filled with ghosts, the dreams full of desires are chased by ghosts and they disappear in the morning when we wake up to what we believe is real life.

In the morning, I wake up in the city I am living in

, New York...

And these days New York in the morning is painful to look at, sad enough that you want to go back to the nightmare and talk to more ghosts. ..The ghosts will look at the  people who have no idea of who they really are, where they are going, why they are even alive and walk very fast with their phone in front of their face to a place that they know superficially. And the ghosts will say:

-Do not believe in fate, do not believe in destiny, believe that you can change the world…

OH REALLY????  

Every city is a ghost...New York with construction all over, the scaffolding hiding the original structure and sometimes you can guess the creativity of the original, but since too many ghosts have been around imposing new ways of thinking, it looks like nothing... OR may be it was a park before? But in my present state of mind there is not a lot to look at, very little to discover, and it seems that I can only see the surrounding mediocrity, the poverty; the fact that everybody seems to be walking around with no real destination, without knowing who they are and what they want.. and now most of cities live in fear! Fear of others, fear of the unknown, fear of being scared!

GO AWAY GHOST BUT BEFORE TELL ME YOUR NAME  

-MY NAME IS PASSED REALITY

 Another ghost dressed in red approaches me, it is the color of a cherry or of blood… My blood?  He screams in my ear…

-What do you want to look at? You cannot see anything, you became blind to the outside world, only preoccupied by your owns thoughts, and what you believe is the center of the world… YOU, YOU AND AGAIN YOU!!!

The ghost laughing loudly, says …go ahead, talk, talk…make me smile…

GHOST LISTEN TO ME  

 

 -We live in a bizarre world where it seems that the abyss between people is much deeper that it had never been in the past... It seems sometimes that we are living side by side and not in the same world, a multitude of parallel worlds with opposed rules, almost opposed expectations. The accumulated knowledge of superficial matters and the desire to go on fighting for choices concerning only us!!!!

Ghost: Oh, that is impressive, I am honored to be next to you… Ah! Ah! Ah! Go on silly man…

 

-The meaning of truth at the dusk of life is escaping me, this dusk every day darker, thicker, more somber. I am not capable anymore to distinguish what is real or even the meaning of real, I can only see the nonsense of everyday life... I try to hook myself to lost moments who cannot be alive anymore and cannot be found, I feel my creativity fading and losing its face in the pathetic routine of everyday life.... Why do I believe that everything can or should last forever...hours, days, years go without looking the same but are the same...

The ghost is laughing very loudly: -Go on, say more, empty your soul…

 

-And today we look at each other with disdain, with sometimes jealousy, with non-acceptation of their needs, with the refusal of the new freedom in so many aspects of life. Pretending all the time that most people know nothing, have nothing, believe nothing, and are just the product of the internet and social media.

They are only interested in their phone, their silly music, the image they project on others, and the insistence of having everything as fast as possible without really deserving it. BLA, BLA, BLA…

 

 

THE GHOST IS NOW WHISPERING TO ME:  -Are you saying that today there is no culture, no morality, no sense of belonging, no tradition, people refuse the basic way of honor, they think only about money and adventures, only about superficial and easy success.

 

-GO AWAY GHOST BUT BEFORE TELL ME YOUR NAME

 

-MY NAME IS PRESENT REALITY

I open my eyes in the dark room, another long night, full of visions and thoughts…My friends, where are you? Why are you gone? Even if I have not seen you for a long time., I need you, I am full of memories of our adventures together and I still want to share it with you…Come back friends… I am sure we can still share ideas, and dreams, and laughs together, why are you gone…FRIENDS where are you? My lost friends, you will become ghosts inside me, and I will keep you alive and present forever…Yes, my friends, forever…

A huge ghost is now approaching me.

-You are pathetic! What happened? Where are you? How old are you now?

-I am 75, and tired; tired of talking, tired of people, tired of.... life...

- I thought you were a creative man, what happened?

-The creativity can be sometimes the result of Ghosts, and sometimes it is not worth anymore, the dreams are too invaded by ghosts and give a false reality…

Sometimes I am haunted by the ghosts of my own feelings, and too many times it influences my thoughts and my writing, and it is not reality anymore.

-Since when reality was the benchmark of your life and your creativity?

You should be delivering to others the human soul, the passionate feelings, and sometimes the weakness of being you.

 

-Ghost will you help me? Will you come often in my sleepless nights and prompt me about my next duty?

- I will if you promise that you will follow my advice for ways to look at life, to understand that there should be new ways to look at life, and to learn how to take care of all your friends.

- And I will find some peace? And I will be able to take care of the people I cherish? Will you really do that for me?

- I will if you promise.

- Ghost, I promise, I promise… Please tell me your name.

MY NAME IS FUTURE REALITY

 

I wake up smiling and ready