HOMMAGE AUX DISPARUS

 The extraordinary story of that woman called Elise Gabrielle recently came to my mind.  I could not stop thinking of her, her amazing life, her incredible strength and how much she represents what women were, are and will be…

Elise was born in 1917  to a Jewish Family in a Third World country, a French colony of North Africa.  Quite strange for the time and the culture of Jews in a Third World country, the family was not practicing Judaism. 

                                                                                                    

Her father Alfred, his family originally from Italy, was Jewish, but he had forgotten what it meant.  He was an abusive alcoholic and a man without respect for others.  For the time he had a relatively good job but despised everybody around him. 

Her mother Rica was also raised in the Jewish tradition but had renounced all the traditions of the Jewish faith because of her husband.

Elise had a brother Aurele, two years older and showing very young signs of total independence and desire to go his own way.

The life at home was painful not to say terrifying…

For example: While they were only four at home, one Sunday, the father Alfred brought home 24 pastries and his wife,  Rica asked him “Why all these pastries?”In anger,  he opened the window and threw them out in the street and then ordered his children to go and pick them up and bring it back home.                                                                                                                           The following Sunday the same story repeated itself and again for a few months,, and although no one was saying anything anymore, they were still forced to eat all the pastries…until he got tired of it all and stopped the game.

One day, the son Aurele mentioned that he would love to go the football game with him, his father raised his cane and broke his arm only because he had mentioned a desire…                      

Another day, Elise mentioned at the dinner table that she loved the salad served that day..  But as the rule was that nobody could talk at the table except him, he ordered her to eat the entire big salad bowl in order to teach the lesson that “taste should not be expressed”. 

 Elise spent her childhood and her adolescence on this terrible surrounding and spent more and more time inside the school she was going to, working extra hours taking care of younger pupils,to escape home life.

She developed a huge appetite for reading novels of all kinds, reading them in secret in the library of the school and building an imagination, creating another world and the possibility of other life….    

  IMAGINE DOING THIS IN THE 1920’S AND 30’s IN A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY OF NORTH AFRICA!                                                                                                                                                                                     She finished school at the age of 18 years old and was pushed immediately into an arranged marriage  to  a man much older than her because he was in the so-called ''high society'' of the time.

 In 1939, she was 22, and  gave birth to her first son. The second world war was beginning, and soon the Germans arrived in the country….While the Germans did not have enough time to really slaughter the Jews, the 100.000 thousands Jews of the country had to wear the star of David,  5000 people were deported to labor camps all over and all were living in fear and apprehension of what could happen the next day…

Later in her life,  Elise,  almost at peace in her soul with this memory, recalled that  she had been helping a lot of the French soldiers who were in prison,utilizing her impeccable French and Italian to their benefit as many of the guards were Italians allies of the Germans.  She saved many lives and prevented many deportations by stepping into discussions with authorities about the fate of some people, , AND SHE WAS IN HER EARLY TWENTIES…

In 1944, she gave birth to her second son…She was 27…The country was trying to move past the German occupation and the political mood of the country had changed.

A few years went by, Elise was having a good social life, in a very distinctive and sheltered group of the society even if being Jewish in that country could often create difficult times. The family of her husband, Henri, had been in that country for hundreds of years but it was not and had not been always easy.

Elise was well known for her beauty, her great social manners and was one of the top Ladies of her community. She had a privileged life, with servants at home, but never lost track of her duties to her two sons, and therefore she was a great mother. Attentive and full of affection for them, sharing stories, reading to them, and always choosing books they both could appreciate.         

The creation of the state of Israel in 1948, created a complete change of the relation of ethnicities in her country…. The Jewish community was now living again in fear and Elise was accompanying her 2 sons to school every day, something she did not do before prior to these political fears…

Elise even became like a mother to the young workers from other ethnicities who were living at home, talking to them, sharing knowledge, having them join in at the evening readings.

The Israeli war in 1956 did not help the situation, as her country of birth, of her ancestors for hundreds of years, now became independent from France.  Her father had died in the early fifties, and her brother who was in French army had had stayed in France and had already brought her mother over to join him.

Her husband’s family soon lost all their properties, their business, Olive Oil factories and decided to leave for France.  They were forced to leave as refugees, with no money at all, and could not expect any help from the French government, since they were not technically French citizens. The French government gave them the authorization to emigrate but not with the promise of any kind of help, just asylum.  

I remember that the family left on a regular boat but sitting and spending the night to cross the sea in the hold of the ship. 

Upon the arrival in Paris in 1961, Elise, her oldest son( who was now married) and her husband tried to start a new business' They opened a food store and  worked 18 hours a day, Elise cooking meals all day long for the workers around…The second son was sent in the provinces in a boarding school then went to a university… This new life went on for 4 years and things seemed to settle, Elise was now at ease being the cook in a neighborhood for workers…                                                                                    

UNFORTUNATELY, tragedy hits them again…                                                                                  

Her oldest son was killed in a car accident, and a year later her husband died, life had been too much for him, and he died of despair….                                                                                               

 Elise found herself in the street with nothing and nowhere to go…. Her brother who had become a very successful businessman in Paris, did not even try to reach out… Soon , Elise moved in with her mother and her second son who was pursuing his artistic dreams…          That did not last too long, Elise, strong as ever, decided to take a job as a seamstress in a store, in a famous prostitute’s district in Paris and moved in a one room apartment in the building of the store. Her mother went to live by herself, her son pursued his artistic dreams. For many years she worked in this ‘’boutique’’ fixing dresses for prostitutes who were calling her MAMI, and loved her ways, her perpetual giving attitude and her humor.                                    

She was now in her fifties…                                                                                                                    

Then it seems that as if  fate was giving her the opportunity to improve her life! She met a Hungarian Jewish man, who was a jeweler, and they decided to go live in Israel…They settled in Israel, Elise learned how to speak Hebrew and became very fast one of the leaders of her community, but the marriage did not go well and soon she wrote to her son to ask him if he could send her some money to be able to buy a plane ticket and come back to Paris.                       

Upon the reception of this letter, the son borrowed money anywhere he could, took a plane , went to Israel, packed her luggage and both came back to Paris…                                                            

She went back to work in the boutique, but time was passing, and her health was now fragile….But she never complained , never asked for a favor to her family or  her husband family ( a big family all residing in Paris)…

Actually, her brother once invited her for dinner to his home , for Christmas, and while he knew how miserable her life was, his big gift for the holidays was A BOOK called ‘’La vie devant soi’’ by Romain Gary… NO COMMENTS… She took the book, thank him for his generosity and never saw him again…                                                                                                

TIME CONTINUED TO PASS AND THE MAMI OF THE PROSTITUTES WAS STILL AROUND GIVING HER KNOWLEDGE OF LIFE, HER GENEROSITY, HER INCREDIBLE STRENGTH TO EVERYBODY…                                                                                                                                                                                                  Her son finally reached success in life, he had emigrated to the States and was having a good life… He bought a house for her in the States not too far from New york city, and she came to live FINALLY in peace in a community that she loved… In her seventies she met another man, got married, and spent a few years happy, surrounded by friends, and visited regularly by her son, his wife and even a granddaughter…                                                                                                                                 

 Elise was finally in peace but age and difficult life were now invading her, she had a stroke and died soon after, with a smile saying ‘’ I had a great life, thank you to all of you’’

THIS INCREDIBLE WOMAN, THIS LADY, WILL ALWAYS BE PRESENT IN MY MIND, MY LIFE…           YES, MOTHER I LOVE YOU