FEAR/FREEDOM

 WE are living an incredibly difficult time in a frightful world !

Yes, of course all of us had and have in our lifetime extremely dramatic moments  , bad experiences and challenging events, we had to deal with the death of loved ones, loss of our job, diseases attacking us, wrong choices creating pain, betrayals of people we believe were friends, etc...

But it is part of a normal live and we had to overcome these unfortunate events,  we had to go on and try to learn from it, growing to the next step  and the next chapter of existence.

But times have changed, it seems that we are living in a world of constant fear…

Reasons for fear are surrounding us daily, and it seems that there is little we can do about it…

Fear created by the political world surrounding us, fear from the tensions in this world; every day we are aggressed by the so-called news learning about the disasters in  world , the changing climate destroying the planet, the social disruptions and the violence in every city or town,  the mass shooting everywhere, the racist attacks,  the death of somebody we knew, the advertising of medications with their fatal side effects,  it is always bad news about everything.                          

I dream of a tv station called OGN , Only Good News, where the world will be presented to me with only good news…

Add to this the relatively new fear of what we are going to discover about us, on Facebook, on the internet, and all social medias where people have the right, almost the invented duty to talk about others, to judge others, to comment their actions,  to expose their feelings, their impression with no restraint or pudor , and it  becomes the truth for a majority of people eager to hear gossips and possible  failures of people they know or even do not know but hate anyway…

Fear to fall asleep and to wake up seen by the world as a different person that the one we believe we are… Today what will we find about us we had no idea we had done or thought?

Fear about life in the next 10 years, 10 months, 10 days, tomorrow…. What will happen next?  Should I leave but where will I go?  It is the same everywhere!!!!  What will I do? Are the choices I made really what I want to do?

Fear to make enemies by giving opinions, fear to talk about our feelings, our ideas since we could go against a new current of ideas, a new definition of truth , new ways of being acceptable…. And these new ways change every day…                  

Yes , the world and society always changed in the past, but not at that speed, nobody anymore can really deal with the speed of the changing world, of the new ways of being a person with the good and the bad… 

Where is the FREEDOM of thinking, of behaving, of building a life, of the choice of social and human relation?

My FREEDOM, for a long time and most of my life I looked at you like a rare pearl, and most of my life I kept you near my heart and my thoughts like the unique rare pearl that I could ever find in this world. You were the one who permitted me and helped me to break the ropes attaching me to habits , to ancestors, to false belief, to the education of another century. You were the one pushing away from me the  wrong feelings and the mistaken sentimental attachments. You were the one who showed me that I could be in a wrong path of life or taking the  wrong decisions, and sometimes living the wrong way.                                                                                                                               

But today my freedom you are denied by the world imposing fear to us, and the fear surrounding us is not attached to the consequences of life , like becoming older, or going thru difficult times of choices. It is the way this new society is built and the way we have to relate to others…

BUT I CANNOT AND WILL NOT RENOUNCE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My freedom you are the one who made me go to the end of the possibilities of the gifts of life, and while I was  dreaming about the results, I could pick up the impossible dream of success, you help me to be on my way to the next dream and then cultivate the possibility of new and fulfilling adventures.

You have been very demanding of me and I gave you all of me , even sometimes a last whisper. And many times I suffered immensely to be so vulnerable and naked in front of the world, without defense,  in order to satisfy your demands and your needs… 

But it was a much better choice and way of living than this perpetual fear of everything freezing us every day….

My freedom for you I changed country , I changed life and I changed my way of being and even thinking,  and many times I lost my sense of reality in order to satisfy you , gain your trust and keep you as my leading guide …

Did I forever lose great opportunities because of your exigence? You knew how to defeat my bad habits and make me a new man each time , but very often destroying everything around me, bringing me remorse, loneliness and sometimes pain. 

But I was free to choose ways, free to think, free to behave, and not a prisoner of fears of a new world… And sometimes I had to love my loneliness, and believe that it was a way of being, and even becoming used to smile when considering a possible new adventure. And now, I can rarely consider new adventures because the world around me forbids it , judges all my actions and build fears around everything….

My freedom you protected me when I was hiding to take care of my wounds, trying to find the good and you were always  there to tell me to think about the next step of my life and not to become a product of a painful period of life. Today most of the time, wounds are presented like final attacks of a negative world and the fear takes over….

When fear invades me and prevents me to think, I am tempted to leave my freedom,  and go another way , and become another one of the lost souls overwhelmed by fear…I remember that night of winter when I decided to leave you to follow another path …  

But how could I think about leaving my life of freedom  to go on the path of easy success and fall in the well of a jail of banalities…Your strength put me back in the right track, thank you, and the fears did not pull me in their world…

My freedom , what will I be without you who came to meet me at the beginning of my life? 

Who was I when you came to my encounter? 

Was I only a sleeping heart ,a tired soul falling in the trap of fake success, the product of the  decadence of an old way of living? 

Without you taking over my being,  will I  be just an attempt to be myself?

Will I be only an attempt to stammer? I learned everything from you about human treacheries and about human mishaps. And I was able to see a new world with you next to me… 

Yes, what will I be … ???????????????                                                                                                                           

 I was lucky since fears of today’s world were not overwhelming the world yet. That is why I have to try to ignore all these fears !!!! 

I learned everything from you about human behavior, even the bad elements, and I started to look at the world with you always present in my mind , my heart , my soul. 

I discover the world and the behavior of so many people, with you giving me the right to judge when it is so many times today considered a fault to do so.

My freedom , they have been trying to take you away from me, to throw me in a world without freedom, to make me another piece of the puzzle of life, but my freedom a long time ago you made me believe in new ways and I have it forever with me and it will stay with me forever.

My freedom  with all these fears they are now  trying to  chain me to their world, to make me fall in the traps of these new ways of being, to become another ME, but thanks to you I will say no and continue my world  with you as my safeguard.

Fears you will not enclose me in the silence of the semi-death or the silence of the frozen old age, the silence of the false peace of the soul … I have My freedom in front of me as the guidance of another new life, as the witness of the attempt to cultivate forgotten sides of my being and  helping me to bring it back to the surface…

YOU will tame life and will not let events and fears guide me by the tip of the nose.

My freedom , I love you, YOU can be a danger if you are not under control , but you taught me how to deal with you , how to create boundaries for you , you are part of me , you are who I am , who I was, who I will be.