Yes, the shattered sky of my youth is no more, the sky has changed its color…I look at my youth and I forgive it…
The child full of anger is gone, the adolescent and the young man who wanted to murder the truth and deny reality have vanished …But I still feel an affection full of wonder for all that, the marvel of noticing that you are gone, and are someone else constructed by life and by the vision of others.
Yes, you have disappeared into the fog of existence.
Am I still capable of rebuilding the world or am I the victim of the impossibility of being myself?
It is time to trust the truth, to welcome the truth, to accept the truth …But what kind of truth?
The truth that is part of the lies of our imagination? The truth of so many unfinished fantasies?
Fifty years have passed since the times when looking at a blue sky from the corner of a room in Paris filled me with hopes and desires!
The truth that is part of the lies of our imagination? The truth of so many unfinished fantasies?
Fifty years have passed since the times when looking at a blue sky from the corner of a room in Paris filled me with hopes and desires!
The time when I thought I was invincible, when the world was going to be mine, when nothing could frighten me, when being a twenty-year old child, a refugee from another country, filled me with passion, strength and the need to become somebody.
A “somebody” who would soon be on top of everything, at the summit of the Kilimanjaro.
A “somebody” who would soon be on top of everything, at the summit of the Kilimanjaro.
Yes, I was going to prove to the world that I could be the person that populated my childhood dreams, nothing could stop me, not even my friends…
Fifty years!!!! ??? Where did all that time go?
Fifty years!!!! ??? Where did all that time go?
Yes, the sky has muted… I look at my youth and forgive myself, the child full of anger is not there anymore, or at least he is almost gone,
Did wisdom overtake me? But does wisdom leave an aftertaste of bitterness to the truth? The Bernard of my youth is far away now, the adventurer full of imagination and capable of taking huge risks is just a memory, a source of stories, a reservoir of experiences.
They all want to know: Is all this true? Is your life for real? But what true mean?
Everything is true…Yet everything is invented…There is only one truth, the one we want, the one we choose…
Did wisdom overtake me? But does wisdom leave an aftertaste of bitterness to the truth? The Bernard of my youth is far away now, the adventurer full of imagination and capable of taking huge risks is just a memory, a source of stories, a reservoir of experiences.
They all want to know: Is all this true? Is your life for real? But what true mean?
Everything is true…Yet everything is invented…There is only one truth, the one we want, the one we choose…
I am called a tormented soul… A tormented soul? Not at all…It's only a mind trying to understand the meaning of all this, the reason for being lost in the eternity of life, my life and other lives.
I am not tormented, the young man I was, was not tormented, on the contrary he learned how to dominate adversity, he learned how to try to remain himself in the puzzle of life, he was capable of staying strong and in control of himself…
I am not tormented, the young man I was, was not tormented, on the contrary he learned how to dominate adversity, he learned how to try to remain himself in the puzzle of life, he was capable of staying strong and in control of himself…
I miss him, the young man that I was, I miss his passion, his vision!
What happened?
Forty Three years since my decision to start again from scratch, to start from nowhere, to go conquer the new world…where did those 43 years go?
Forty Three years since my decision to start again from scratch, to start from nowhere, to go conquer the new world…where did those 43 years go?
They marched past faster than the years of youth lost trying to understand, trying to live, trying not to be lost at sea.
I look at my current bio and I smile, and sometimes I laugh.
“Bernard Uzan has dedicated his life to the development of the performing arts industry for the past 50 years. His extensive background in the Performing Arts includes great achievement as a General Director, Artistic Director, Stage Director, Artist Manager, Set Designer, Librettist, Educator, Actor, published Novelist and Internet Journalist. This season, Mr. Uzan received a lifetime achievement award from the Giulio Gari Foundation,
This year he also received a nomination for his role In Mozart in the jungle on TV.”
Is this really what I did? The little boy, the refugee from Tunis, immigrating to France and then to America really did this?
“Bernard Uzan has dedicated his life to the development of the performing arts industry for the past 50 years. His extensive background in the Performing Arts includes great achievement as a General Director, Artistic Director, Stage Director, Artist Manager, Set Designer, Librettist, Educator, Actor, published Novelist and Internet Journalist. This season, Mr. Uzan received a lifetime achievement award from the Giulio Gari Foundation,
This year he also received a nomination for his role In Mozart in the jungle on TV.”
Is this really what I did? The little boy, the refugee from Tunis, immigrating to France and then to America really did this?
What does this have to do with the anger of my youth? Does life take over completely? Is fate shuffling the cards year after year, day after day?
Did I really want to do all this? Or was it just pure ambition? Or incredible luck? Or the talent to manipulate others? Or being controlled by…. Everybody and Everything!
How can all this have happened? Who am I really? It seems that each moment of life has its own turn of events…
How can all this have happened? Who am I really? It seems that each moment of life has its own turn of events…
I remember that I wrote somewhere along time ago:
“I put on a black pants that were as tight as possible and a black shirt that was also as black as possible…I am leaving for New York to teach in a university: Sartre, Ionesco and Beckett, I am 28 and I am going to a famous university to teach The Theater of Absurd!
How ironic! Me, teaching the ABSURD… I have excellent personal references to teach the absurd…
My life had been absurd from day one and now I am going to America to teach THE THEATER OF ABSURD…wonderful!"
That was the starting point of a new chapter, after acting in absurd roles in the theater in Paris, I was going off to America for almost the same reason…
That was the starting point of a new chapter, after acting in absurd roles in the theater in Paris, I was going off to America for almost the same reason…
And then I stayed…In the country that gave me a new life, new hopes, and a new ME… A country where I could dream, I could be myself, be different but in a positive way…
Thank you America, you are really the land of opportunity and new beginnings.
Too many people believe that life is what it is, that we cannot do anything about it, that events will lead us…
I do not… I do not believe in destiny, I do not believe in fate, I believe that we can change the world, or at least the world we are leaving in, by working incessantly, by remodeling it, by interpreting it, by looking at it a different way…
Yes, reinventing yourself all the time, rethinking yourself all the time, taking calculated risks but taking risks, jumping on all the passing trains, staying open to others, listening to new ideas, understanding what is possible, what is true, what is not, continuing to build on your experiences, accumulating knowledge until the last whisper, believing that some and many before us knew more that we do, finding inspiration in others, having admiration for many and contempt for some, being ALIVE by always being ready to learn how to change in order to question and challenge yourself …
Thank you America, you are really the land of opportunity and new beginnings.
Too many people believe that life is what it is, that we cannot do anything about it, that events will lead us…
I do not… I do not believe in destiny, I do not believe in fate, I believe that we can change the world, or at least the world we are leaving in, by working incessantly, by remodeling it, by interpreting it, by looking at it a different way…
Yes, reinventing yourself all the time, rethinking yourself all the time, taking calculated risks but taking risks, jumping on all the passing trains, staying open to others, listening to new ideas, understanding what is possible, what is true, what is not, continuing to build on your experiences, accumulating knowledge until the last whisper, believing that some and many before us knew more that we do, finding inspiration in others, having admiration for many and contempt for some, being ALIVE by always being ready to learn how to change in order to question and challenge yourself …
To feel humility and grandeur at times, knowing that we know nothing and that we know a lot, sharing our knowledge and our curiosity to know more. To avoid ever or as little as possible falling into the trap of self-satisfaction, always questioning our knowledge, our certainties, our beliefs…having a perpetual working mind, yes it is terribly exhausting but also so totally fulfilling…
TO BE OR NOT TO BE…THAT IS THE QUESTION
No, it is not a question… the answer is obvious and simple…TO BE is the only way, the only possibility and the only duty.
TO BE OR NOT TO BE…THAT IS THE QUESTION
No, it is not a question… the answer is obvious and simple…TO BE is the only way, the only possibility and the only duty.
And I chose to be, sometimes to the detriment of myself or sometimes in spite of the negative reaction coming from others. Many times, some want us to be a “Has been”, which is normal, the new ones who want TO BE are fighting and struggling like we did, so the truly important question is: when should I stop TO BE.
Is there a point in time if we do not stop being, when it becomes annoying and even indecent?
Yes the sky is no longer shattered, the sky had its many grey and black clouds for so many years but it was always cleared by positive thoughts, a desire for a more radiant sun, an appetite for a blue truth and always looking for life's next adventure.
Maybe some of the ways of youth had disappeared, hopefully replaced by the wisdom of maturity.
By staying vigilant we can rebuild the broken sky and go forward.
So fresh and so clean.
