It seems that too many people disappear from our life
after a few years, and we miss them most of the time because we believe they
were friends... unfortunately some disappeared because they became famous or
important or self important…what a pity to have this kind of attitude, it is
really sad, disappointing or even painful to see that human beings can be so
low, so ungrateful, ...they believe they have reached a level where we no
longer deserve their friendship, they want to ignore the possibility of being
thankful for all we did for them, even if we do not ask for anything…
I don’t think I ever forgot my friends or even ignore
them because I was lucky and sometimes achieved more than others; if I did and
you are reading this, do not hesitate to contact me, to talk to me and even
confront me.
If it happened I was not aware of it, I regret it, and
will do anything I can to repair the damage I have caused or the friendship I
have betrayed.
My family background taught us to help one another, to be
loyal in friendship, and even to take risks to help the ones in trouble when
times are tough; we were raised as a small minority and the first generation
out of the Jewish ghetto of Tunis was my grand father.
We owed our freedom to come out of the ghetto to an
Italian Jewish lady who was traveling in Tunisia and became very upset when she
visited the Ghetto. She went to see the French consul who answered to her that
it was not his problem since the Jews were Tunisian citizens and not French
citizens…so she went to see the Bey of Tunisia, who first told her that he was
not interested in the fate of the ghetto people and then told her that he was a
big classical music lover …He asked her to go back to Italy and come back with
some music as a gift to him, he would listen to it and if he liked it, he would
allow the Jews to move out of the ghetto… She did, and returned with some music
, the Bey loved it and it became the national Anthem of Tunisia , THE HYMN OF
THE BEY, before the independence of the country…Legend has it that Verdi is
believed to have written this music.
The doors of the ghetto opened, my grand father came out
and a new life began for all of us.
Even if I did not live through those times (I am not that
old), it is in my genes not to forget where I come from, who I was, where I
went, and who I become without forgetting the friends of my early days.
Unfortunately not all human beings behave that way.
How can people forget where they come from and battles
they went through themselves and with their loved ones?
They should learn that to succeed is to be faithful to
your friends and not to shut out everything else.
I have a long list of individuals who knew me when they
were nothing, when they were beginners, when they were unfulfilled, when they
were still in the first pangs of BECOMING.
Conductors, directors, singers, administrators, it seems
that this race of people can be found in any capacity. I will NOT mention names of course since I am a very
discreet man by nature, and even more fearful of the threat of being sued for
character assassination. I am just going to mention a few stories and the
guilty ones will no doubt recognize themselves.
What about this young, very young, almost a child prodigy
“wannabeconductor” who begged me to be hired as a replacement chorus master for
one production and since he was really a wonderful musician, I gave him the
job…he quickly became the official chorus master for that company. He remained
very close to me asking my wife Diana advice about singing and how to handle
singers… We were treating him like the son we did not have, he was very close
to us, asking daily about what to do for this and what to do for that.
Soon I gave him his first conducting job in a very
important opera and yes he was fabulous… Very quickly thanks to my
recommendation, he was appointed the artistic director of an orchestra and then
…then… one thing after the other, he is now one of the most important
conductors around and he is still a very young man.
YES he deserves this entire new life… yes he is very
talented… But since his tremendous success, he never tried to reach us, he
never answered my attempts to see him, probably because now he is a grand
MAESTRO and I am merely a common mortal…I really do not care about his success,
no I care, he deserves it and I am happy for him, I cared more about the young
man and his desire to grow as a man and become the great human being he could
have become but he disappeared from our midst.
SHAME ON HIM, no actually I feel sorry for him, because
he must be very lonely.
What about this singer who …after years of free voice
lessons, after hundreds of hours of talking even when I was not listening
because he was repeating himself without even breathing, after asking me what
he should do about his spouse who was jealous of his talent, what repertoire he
should sing (I was not in the management business yet), how to act, how to
sing, how to conduct himself in public, how to deal with the business, how to
be a man, how to eat, how not to drink too much, how to talk to his
parents, how to deal with the
competition of other singers, how to breathe, how to dream…suddenly became a
big star AND NEVER TALKED TO ME AGAIN…When he sees me , or he either says a
faint hello, or changes to the other side of the street.
SHAME ON HIM, no actually I feel sorry for him, he must
be very lonely.
And like I said before, I can go on with directors who
were interns, administrators who were assistant stage managers, all were good
friends and now give a fake smile when they see the people they knew well and
turn their head to talk to somebody else because they are important
administrators of important companies and have an important life.
SHAME ON THEM, no, actually I feel sorry for them, they
must be very lonely
These successful individuals have learned how to succeed
in their craft and have had a incredible talent for net working, talking to the
right people, the ones who could do something for them, having four lunches on
a row if necessary with different influential people.
All this is right if it is your personality, but only if
your ambition does not become self destructive, if you do not forget who you
are and who YOU WERE.
To be successful is a great life story, but keep in touch
with the people from your beginnings, share with them your experience, your
knowledge, and your friendship with them. Find the time to answer them, to be
there when they need you.
There is nothing more satisfying than to give to those
who were not as lucky.
To be real as an artist or an art administrator is to not
renounce who we were, or the people we knew.
To be successful is to be confident enough and not to
fear those, who were our friends when we were at the bottom of the latter.
To be successful is to refuse to be devoured by a mask,
by a job description, by the trappings… Do not grow in your new life alone…
Otherwise soon, you will find yourself alone, and you will be miserable when
success finally eludes you in the end and you will drop your mask of
importance.
I know it is difficult sometimes to make this kind of
choice, and to know who really were our sincere friends but the risk is worth
taking and very fulfilling.
Actually it is the
only way to BE.
