SHADOW OF A SHADOW
A few days ago I was walking in the street like every morning since the beginning of the pandemic crisis, walking for an hour everyday makes me believe that I am still active, very funny! We do not know what to invent anymore to continue to hope for another life or another time...But I am very clever and inventive because i have 3 or 4 different routes and doing so I can have the feeling that I am creating something new every few days, I always want to be on top of things, what a joke!...
But something different happened, suddenly i saw, in front of myself, my shadow on the sidewalk, my full shadow, yes, it was me! I immediately took a picture of it for posterity and now I have the proof that I still exist.
Here it is...
Looking at the picture, it comes to my mind many quotes from many different writers and thinkers:
'' The brightest flame casts the darkest shadow.'' George R.R Martin
''Some people seemed to get all sunshine, and some all shadow'' Louisa May Alcott
''What men call the shadow of the body is not the shadow of the body but is the body of the soul'' Oscar Wilde
''So do not be frightened, dear friend, if a sadness confronts you larger than any you have known, casting its shadow over all you do. You must think that something is happening within you and remember that life has not forgotten you; It holds you in its hand and will not let you fall. Why would you want to exclude from your life any uneasiness , any pain, any depression, since you don't know what work they are accomplishing within you?'' Rainer Maria Rilke.
''Come back even as a shadow , even as a dream.'' "Not for the first time i find our lives are a shadow, and I am not afraid to say that people who think they have figured out and are masters of logic- they are responsible for the greatest folly. No human being is happy. Strike it rich and you are luckier than your neighbor- but happy, never.'' Euripides.
"There is strong shadow where there is much light." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.
'' I love the shade and the shadow and would be alone with my thoughts when I may.'' Bram Stoker, Dracula.
''But the shadow is merely somewhat inferior, primitive, unadopted, and awkward; not wholly bad. It even contains childish or primitive qualities which would in a way vitalize and embellish human existence, but convention for bids!'' Carl G. Jung
''No matter how hard you fight the darkness, every light casts a shadow, and the closer you get to the light, the darker the shadow becomes.'' Plato
''Moi je ne suis qu'une ombre et vous une clarté" ''Tu marcheras, j'irai dand l'ombre à ton côté; Je serai ton esprit, tu seras ma beauté.'' Edmond Rostand, Cyrano
Are we now totally becoming this shadow? Or even a shadow of this shadow? It is true that the shadow of age gives us time to think, especially in a time like the one we are living now, we tried in our life to live intensely, to accomplish the most possible and now life imposes to us that we have to think and to find the link between the inside and the outside... Years pass and we are still trying to find the meaning of most of it, and sometimes the hazard of things, the invincible law of fate gives a few answers, or more exactly some elements of answers pushing us to think and to try to be generous with others, understanding of our enemies, protector of the ones we love... Yes, but now we are dealing with the shadow of our shadow, pushing us to be questioning our existence more deeply than ever... Time goes so fast, we wake up and discover that 3, 4, 5 weeks and sometimes months have passed and we did not give news to people who are dear to us and in the same time people who do not like us continue after many years to perpetuate their hate with the internet...How sad, how bizarre, how disappointing of who we are...but are our thoughts and our feelings the same?.. Do we continue to wish them everything possible...everything they deserve, everything they desire... Or is the invading shade taking over and we are becoming mute and powerless...
Is the shadow of my shadow taking over or did the meaning of life change since my youth? It seems that i do not really understand it anymore...all has to be acquired immediately, without real sacrifice. We believe that we deserve the best right away, the world has replaces knowledge of humanity by knowledge of pushing buttons...We are so afraid of sharing emotions, to be vulnerable, to have feelings. But an artist should be delivering to others the human soul, the feelings, and the weakness of being one... all this acquired by life experiences or by acquiring it thru the study of the ones who knew and are ready to share. Yes, I know, some people have this talent of knowing at birth, they are the lucky ones, they are the chosen, and they are and example and a gift to us.
In these times of intense shadow is the meaning of truth escaping us? This shadow everyday darker, thicker, more somber. Are we still capable to distinguish what is real or even the meaning of what we believe is real, or is the shadow covering everything... THE SHADOW BECOMING THE SHADOW OF A SHADOW...
Should we hook ourselves to lost moments who cannot be real anymore or cannot be found? Do we feel our creativity fading and losing its face in the pathetic shade of this new life?
Are we still looking for a possible truth? They always want to know about my novel ( THE SHATTERED SKY), is this all truth? Your life? Is it TRUE? TRUE? What does that mean TRUE? Everything is true... everything is invented,,, All is part of us...what we think, what we believe, what we feel become part of OUR TRUTH!!!!!There is only one truth , the one we want to be...
Does possible happiness these days belong to Fairy tales? I look around me, and I see only people with the disease of our time, THE ABSENCE OF HAPPINESS.. Was it like that 20 or 30 years ago? I do not remember.. or may be I was not aware of it... Is the shadow covering desperation, hidden life, artificial behavior, and even the masks of a disguises truth?
Ok, enough with these groans, enough with these moans of a spoiled brat, enough with this perpetual contemplation of a non existing misfortune...It is an insult to the ones really suffering, a lack of consideration for the ones really courageous, a slap in the face to the ones who have nothing.
Too many people believe that life is what it is, even with the shade and the shadows...We should not believe it, we should not believe in a definite fate, we should still believe that we can change the world by interpreting it, by looking at it in a different way... Yes sure, why not? If I go on, I am going to believe I am somebody else...
Is the shadow of a shadow really what we became? It seems that most of people cannot talk to anybody anymore, everybody has good reasons to be what he is, to believe what he wants, to act according to his desires.. We believe too often that people should be thankful for what we did for them and we are expecting a return... we do not understand that in this world of shades it means nothing. And we cannot demand anything... But we cannot go on as if we were already in the other dimension...we cannot renounce and lock us up in the silence of acceptation...we have to continue to think, to create, to exist...We should still have the strength to control part of our life, to have creating knowledge, to be there for the ones who need us... WE WERE AND WE STILL ARE.. Let us look at the shadow and decide that it is only a reflection of a million possibilities buried in our humanity, and and our duty is to dig the shadows and exploit these possibilities...
The Shadows have to be controlled as much as we can, and we have to believe it is possible and help the ones who cannot go beyond their shade.
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ReplyDeleteThe photo is fascinating too. When we first saw it, you wrote "that's me". And we've been discussing this and thought "yes it resembles his silhouette, he must have found it in a book or something and it fits very well" and now we learn that the photo is genuine and you took it. It's a fabulous shot, worthy of a fine-art photography exhibition! And thanks a lot for sharing this superb essay with us. Thanks, thanks, thanks !
ReplyDeleteThank you
ReplyDeleteMY FAVORITE PART ''Too many people believe that life is what it is, even with the shade and the shadows...We should not believe it, we should not believe in a definite fate, we should still believe that we can change the world by interpreting it, by looking at it in a different way''. I WILL PUT IT IN A FRAME, ON THE WALL IN MY OFFICE.
ReplyDelete“Ok, enough with these groans, enough with these moans of a spoiled brat, enough with this perpetual contemplation of a non existing misfortune...It is an insult to the ones really suffering, a lack of consideration for the ones really courageous, a slap in the face to the ones who have nothing.”
ReplyDeleteThis is what I wrestle with every day. How do I keep perspective on my suffering? Should I dismiss it because others suffer so much more? Sometimes I say no, my suffering is real even though it isn’t as bad as others’ pain. Most times I think, shut up! What a fortunate life you’ve had! And most of my suffering comes from my own poor choices.
You told us about your photo. Good that the ‘shadow’ became this ‘reflection.’
This post reminded me of The Shadow of the Wind (La sombra del Viento) and I wanted to write here about it, but I needed the weekend to collect myself a bit... Do you know the book? I am sure you do. I just give some details for your readers, who, maybe, didn't read it yet. The book is written by Carlos-Ruiz Zafon. Unfortunately, he just died (not of Covid) in June, at only 55. Some consider him ''the new Marquez''. Well, in the Shadow of the Wind a boy, Daniel, is taken by his father to the Cemetery of Forgotten Books and urged to choose a book and take it with him to rescue it from falling into oblivion. Daniel develops a passion for the book he has chosen to ''save'' and equally for the author (who is really good). However, he soon discovers that he is the only holder of something written by that author as unknowns were systematically destroying all his writings. But, because those great books were disappearing, they soon became extremely precious and everyone was searching for them and for the author. So, no matter what, a genuine value cannot become a shadow; this is one of the ideas emerging from this book, which fully applies to you too.
ReplyDeleteThis is AWESOME! Thank you so much!!!!
ReplyDeleteBernard, perhaps your shadow is really the absence of your dynamic light. The “you” that is full of life and energy is really what surrounds the outer diameter of the shadow. You are so much more in this universe than the small, dark outline of your physical being. Your spirit moves beyond the constraints of the human form to influence and live within others. it exits the parameter of your human form and becomes Something far greater and perpetuating in other people hearts and thoughts. And for those Of us who call you “friend”, lives in our hearts forever :)
ReplyDelete