BETRAYAL OR NECESSITY….

The spring went fast, very fast, may be too fast….

It has been a very busy fall and even a busier winter with many events in business and private life!

Our UIA agency is growing immensely, my work as a director is extremely active with lots of satisfaction, Mozart in the jungle adventure, The Gari Foundation honor, meeting new interesting people, the selling of my beloved house in New jersey, and so on…

It seems that nothing is slowing down and everything continues to function, to happen, to advance and all this despite having celebrated my 71 birthday on December!

I have received many emails about many of these events, commenting this or that, sometimes even congratulating me, from people I have not heard about in years or even people I don’t know at all… 

But strangely enough, people I was expecting some kind of reaction from, people I thought were friends or at least were friends at some point in this long life full of events...from them I RECEIVED NOTHING...  not a word, not a comment, not a question... SILENCE...

It reminded me of all these people with whom I was a close friend in the past, at the beginning of their career, singers, directors, conductors, administrators, who became SOMEBODY (may be only in their own mind) and suddenly stopped being in touch with me! And even in some cases, disrupting their memory and act like if I did not exist!

Is it Betrayal or Necessity?

At one point in life do we have to renounce, ignore or even deny those who helped us to make it, those who were supporting us and even in some cases created us, and go ahead in a new attempt to finding an exit to a dead-end life?

Is their presence or even their memory a reminder of the years of struggle and we just decide to erase them for self-preservation?

Do we want to ignore who we were in order to build a new image, an image of achievement?

Is that a valid necessity in order to give to the surrounding world the idea of a strong and indestructible presence?

Did I do the same thing? I sincerely hope not!
On the contrary, I think I tried to keep present in my life those who helped me, who gave to me or even who paved the way to the next chapter!

I don’t think it is only a question of gratitude, I believe it can be a great joy to keep the past alive in our life with all its successes and failures. 

Let’s not dismiss the years of struggle and sometimes failures by eliminating the witnesses of that period of life!

It cannot be or should not be a necessity, but is it a betrayal?

Betrayal????

Am I using too dramatic a term? Is it a normal way of going thru life? I sincerely hope not! It is very frustrating and sometimes even painful to see these people acting that way.

PEOPLE PLEASE MAKE THE EFFORT IN YOUR BUSY SCHEDULE TO KEEP IN TOUCH WITH THOSE WHO KNEW YOU WHEN YOU WERE NOTHING OR NOBODY…

LETS NOT EVEN TALK ABOUT THE ONES WHO OWE US THEIR SUCCESS, THEIR FAME, THEIR CAREER ….

I could make a list of these individuals but as you all know I am a discreet man, and a reserved soul, so I will not, they will recognize themselves and hopefully will stop acting that way (not with me, it is too late) in the next stage of their life

Trust my experience, when the time comes AND IT WILL COME, when your fame and success is no longer there anymore, you will be alone with your mirror reflecting the image of a sad and lonely soul.

You will wonder what happened! Why do I have nobody to talk to? Nobody to express my doubts, my feelings, my thoughts with!

I remember with affection, and always try to have in my life the ones who gave me my first acting role or my first theater directing in the sixties, and later the ones who gave me my first opera job, my first assignment as head of a company, I am proud to show to them that I deserved their trust…

Of course we have to grow and advance and go on to the next step and the new chapter of life, we cannot carry with us forever every one we have met and cherished. Sometimes and even often, YES we have gone beyond them, BUT LET’S NOT IGNORE THEM, they are part of who we were, who we are and who we will become.

How can we really turn the page on somebody when the time comes?

I received often some emails about every new chapter or renewed chapter I am living…

You are acting again referring to Mozart in the jungle?

You are still directing Opera, not enough of it?

Do you still enjoy being a manager? And if yes, why?

Why are you still writing? What does that bring to you?

MY ANSWER IS SIMPLE: ALL OF THIS IS OFTEN A RENEWAL OF MYSELF, THE MEMORY OF THE FRIENDS I SOMETIMES DO NOT SEE ANYMORE, AND A WAY OF THANKING THE ONES WHO HELPED ME, WHO BELIEVED IN ME.

And sometimes, coming from nowhere, I received some messages about the blog from some of the Betrayers who have not been in touch for many, many years…                                                                

You are writing a blog? And some say..."what is your problem, are you a megalomaniac, a blog?  About your ideas, your feelings, your thoughts?

What a joke, who cares? Nobody wants to know! Nothing stops you? where do you find the time to do all this? You should take care of your real job.

."If they only knew...”

The blog? should I go on with it? Did I make again enemies with that?

May be I am acting with extreme outbursts AGAIN… May be what I call the betrayers were not really friends but just business acquaintances who needed me at one point in their life.

Friends???

BUT what does friendship really mean? I hear often from people:

Bernard, you are my friend, you are like a brother, I really like to be with you and in your company…    
They give me lots of words of friendship and love and everything…
But it is never followed by a real act showing friendship!!!!

Friendship should be based on WHAT WE DO for the ones we call friends and not based on words…
I know people around me who never REALLY had acts of friendship, who always dropped the ball when action is necessary, who go the other way, but continue to call me their friend, and react like I am unreasonable when I show my disappointment!

Enough with that masquerade!!!!

So, Do I have to believe that the betrayers were not betrayers, that just they were not real friends?

How sad, how depressing to believe that we have been used by some in order for them to advance in their life! But even if that is the case, can they have some moments of gratitude or at least stop ignoring us?                                    

Can they just try to be REAL and keep some integrity towards themselves? Probably they have lost the contact with their own reality or even never had a notion of it...
Or maybe they just invented superficial ENTERTAINMENT in order to forget the obligations of life and of human conduct! Pascal was right when he wrote Les Pensees...mankind has invented entertainment in order to forget the void of the soul...                                                                                                                                    

Life goes so fast, every year the days, the months are faster and shorter.

I feel sometimes that all is passing in front of my eyes, my soul and I miss more and more the ones who were in my life, the ones I helped and the ones who helped me!
Where are they, what happen to them, where are the friends and even where are the betrayers? So many passed away or are retired or forgotten in the tunnel of life!   
                                                                     
Can we really have some kind of action or influence on the betrayers or should we ignore them? 

                                                                                                                                                                    Is it a NECESSITY to dismiss them in order to forget the BETRAYAL?

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