ILLUSIONS??????

 

 

The past two years I have been helping my family driving them all around the city, we wanted to avoid public transportation and even Taxis because of the Covid Pandemic… I have been driving almost every morning to pick up my granddaughter to bring her to school and then coming home to bring Diana to her studio…And very often did the same thing in the afternoon.  Vanessa my daughter and Diana my wife gave me a sign to put in the car, the sign is

BERNIE UBER

Here is the picture…

Driving in the city is really a painful adventure, and too often a dangerous adventure… People on bicycles do not respect anything, red lights and one way street mean absolutely nothing… Delivery trucks park anywhere in the street and block the traffic, most of cars do not respect anything, cut you off, honk nonstop…Pedestrians still believe they own the street and insult you when they cross the street if you dare not to let them go first when you have a green light… The outside restaurants are using too many lanes and cars are parked all over the place. Most of the time the police do nothing, except giving tickets to cars parked too long, I already had three tickets in a month. IT IS A REAL NIGHTMARE… Bernie Uber comes home every day exhausted…                                                                                     

But unfortunately, it is as bad to walk in the street, drunk people all over, crimes, assaults with firearms, fires everywhere, and even homeless assassinated while they sleep because they are Homeless.                                                                       

 

SYMBOLS OF A NEW WAY OF LIVING?????

 

The past few blogs or even most of the blogs have been pessimistic, sad, some people say depressed or depressing, negative, and often dark.                                                                                                                                            I must remember my origin and also being a so-called artist, so it is a normal way of behaving, thinking, and telling the world about the world.    The reality is that I am not suicidal, depressed, depressing, or even dark…I still have illusions about everything and even everybody.

Illusions…?????     YES…

Illusions… Illusions of friendship… Illusions of knowledge… Illusions of career… Illusions of love… Illusions of talent…Illusions of truth…Illusions of life…. Illusions of…of…of…

The official definition of Illusion: A thing that is or is likely to be wrongly perceived or interpreted by the senses.  Synonyms:  Hallucination, Apparition, Mirage, Figment of the imagination, Trick of the light                                                                                                                                                                                                                 I had many illusions during my long life; did I make some become reality? No doubt about it. I manage to have many illusions becoming reality.

But these days, it is increasingly difficult for me to try to understand the world we are living, it seems that we deal with new tragedies daily… After Covid, we are now living the tragedy of Ukraine, and it seems that more tragedies will be on their ways very soon… 

Ukraine is becoming the symbol of the nonsense of the world, of the loss of dignified human behavior...                                            

 

The reality is that, like I said in other posts, we are at the end of a culture, the end of known human relations, and it is extremely difficult for everybody to adapt to the new rules, the new ways of functioning, the new ways of thinking… We are in the turning point of a huge change of our way of living and our known times, and of course while it is difficult for the young people to adapt fast and every day to the new needs and rules, it is IMPOSSIBLE for the older generation to be part of the new life… In the arts, all is changed, all is according to new values…                                                                                                           Only artists like Van Gogh or Cezanne could find a balance in today’s life because their art was the result of being totally introverted.                                                                                     Are some people happy? Is it possible to find an exit or at least an answer to the new ways? What is today the meaning of having a life? But not having one is even worse, I simply do not know what that means, I do not hate life or despise it, I do not know anymore what it is, anymore? Maybe I never knew but I never asked.

 

Fifty years have passed since my attempt to open my mind. Fifty years? Wisdom tried to take over. But does wisdom leave an after taste of bitterness on the truth? Does the older generation become bitter with time? Bitterness of having wisdom ruling everything and no room anymore for invention. Is that the reason so many people like snow because snow covers the bitterness of the truth?

 

My youth you are far away now, lost in the inconsistent memories, the memory of the lost senses, but I keep for you an affection full of stupefaction... The stupefaction to see that you are not anymore, that you are one built by life, shaped by the look of others.

You too my youth, you have disappeared in the fog of life, in the path of what we call existence. You became another recreated by others... But my youth you are present in me all the time and I never dismissed you from my thoughts, my desires to go on, my tenderness to you.

My youth can you again remodel the world if I call you back or are you now in the impossibility to be back because of the new rules, the new ways of understanding the world and the new human relations. My youth will you also be destroyed by the new ways?

 

I should walk in a forest looking for a path which will bring me to a field of poppies, so red that they will look like a bleeding bull after a corrida and decide that I want to be the next torero who believes he is Rudolf Valentino... And maybe I will find the truth about being ... me. I often dream about fields of red poppies, may be because I have never seen one...

Or I should think about my father who was a much simpler man, and who died at 59 after a life of aggravation and thank my destiny about what I have and stop these attacks of belly button contemplation.

 

But the sky has changed sky... I look at my youth and I see myself...l am not anymore that child full of rage...l do not want any more to murder truth, I want only to look at a possible truth.

Truth? Truth of what? Of the creation of imagination? Of the unfinished fantasies? Does truth even exist today? Truth based on what?

Too often illusions can be denied by others…For example me too I often denied the illusions of people…According to too many people, everything around us is like we are supposed to be dead…The world around us does not want us to think, to create, even to exist…

We should be sitting on an armchair at home and look thru the window at the emptiness around us and accept the non-sense of the new ways of behaving. We should look at the non-meaning of life, we should look at what does not exist anymore to justify the existence of the new creators of the new ways and their ambition to be…

 

But my country is a great country and I still have illusions… I just must hope that the new world invading us will have enough to give to the new generation, and most people will find ways to have a balance in their life… I hope they will find new truths which are escaping me now…After all the human race went many times in thousands of years of existence through drastic changes and most of the time found possibilities to continue to function, continue to love, continue to create, continue to be.

Yes, illusions sometimes are NOT ;

Hallucination, Apparition, Mirage, Figment of the imagination, Trick of the light 

It will be your duty young people to make it possible, to make illusions real and full of discoveries and peace of mind found again...I believe in you, I know you will do it and be successful, I will observe you from the other world...

AND SMILE AT YOU