REINVENTING OURSELVES
Yesterday I had a text message exchange with a former assistant of mine
who became AN IMPORTANT personality in our business (at least in his mind).
I have to add for
personal history that for the past few years, he was calling me PAPA and had
been always looking for my advice, input, and guidance in his life,
professional life and private life.
Anyway, in that
exchange of texts, he told me that:
It was a conflict of
interest for me to be a manager and a stage director, that I was pressuring
people and companies for my own interest as a director and it was bothering him
(I have to add that I NEVER asked him to hire me as a director, I was just
asking him if he had chosen a director for a specific production).
Then, he added
that I was hated in the business by many, many people, and he was very critical
of all of my professional activities by saying that I was not a success in most
of my endeavors.
His tone was
aggressive and full of hate and I was really overwhelmed by sadness to hear him
saying all this.
Where did all this
came from? I know, but will not express it since as you all know I am a
generous person (laughing).
It took me some
time to think about this painful exchange and brought to my mind a few
thoughts:
I know that some
people do not like a lot of people for any number of reasons, and, most of the
time, based on personal issues, personal headaches, lack of self-confidence and
sometimes reputation based on rumors and invented stories… If I had lived 10%
of the stories said about me, about what I did or did not do, I would be
considered a giant or a legend…
Sometimes I wish people knew more of the true
stories in my life--it would be more interesting.
I know that in my
long life, I am now 72 years old, I have done a lot of different things and
many times things I did not necessarily want to do but I had to survive! But
guess what? I am now happy I did them. They made me a man with experiences,
sometimes painful experiences, painful memories, and painful background, but even
with all that I am still open to new experiences even if I do not know if I can
really deal with it at my age or if I have the strength to deal with the new
ways.
I did not have the
luck or the result of Fate to be born in a stable family in a stable country
and I had to reinvent myself all my life to stay sane and to continue to want
to conquer the world despite all the handicaps I had to overcome.
Did I conquer the
world? NO I did not, but I went all the way to try.
And guess what? I
STILL DO!
Nobody made me change my mind, and nobody will be able to sway me from my desire to
succeed, even if it did not happen and will not happen in the ways people
expect.
But I am still
alive and trying to be creative and all the negative feedbacks will not stop
me.
Yes, I know, I
have been and sometimes still am: a theater director, a theater actor and
creator of a French theater company in America, a professional gambler, a
university professor, a garbage collector, a writer, an opera general and
artistic director, a packing person in a supermarket, a librettist for opera, a
designer, an artist’s manager, an opera stage director, a lecturer, a movie and
television actor etc... etc.…
I believe I did, and
continue to do all this with full responsibility and full dedication, and never
sacrifice one aspect for the other… I was always and still being totally honest
in my actions and sometimes maybe too honest in my ideas, judgements, or
opinions.
BUT ISN’T THAT THE
ONLY WAY TO STAY ALIVE?
To reinvent our
lives all the time in order to be creative, full of ideas, excited by the next
experiences, and ready to go for new adventures and challenges?
Isn’t
experimenting with new things the best way to stay alive?
To approach
challenges with a new mind, a new thought, a new self?
YES, I am still a
director and a designer, an actor (sometimes), a writer, AND A MANAGER!!! So
what?
Where is the
conflict of interest?
The interest of
whom?
Of my artists in
my roster? When actually I know a lot of our business from every side?
Of artistic
directors of companies? When actually I know a lot of our business from every
side?
All this opens the
major theme...
REINVENTING
OURSELVES…
We live in a time
when IT IS A NEED!!!
In the generation
before mine, when people were changing careers during their lifetime it was
suspicious, something was wrong, something did not work…
These days are
over, we have to stay open all the time to new challenges, new adventures, new
possibilities. IT IS THE ONLY WAY to grow and progress and be ALIVE AND GIVE
BACK WHAT WE KNOW! AND TO GIVE BACK IS TOTAL PLEASURE.
If our mind and
our energy can be concentrating on a new adventure without neglecting the
existing ones… why not? On the contrary, it will bring new assets and new vision.
Please keep your
eyes open, your energy open, your creativity open…Your desire to grow open to
new challenges!
Do not be
complacent in your life when you appear to be in control of your destiny. If
your dreams are fulfilled, DO NOT CLOSE THE DOOR TO REINVENTING YOURSELF, THIS
HAS TO BE A PERPETUAL AIM OF LIFE!
My dear FORMER
assistant, do not rest on your so called successes…soon, they will be the past,
and today the past is today.
Yes, I am still a
director and a manager and a million other things, SO WHAT?
Yes, I love what I
do, being a director, being a manager, being a writer etc.… BECAUSE IT IS
ALWAYS A CHALLENGE AND I DO NOT FALL ASLEEP IN THE ARMS OF COMFORT OR BOREDOM…
and I sincerely hope I will be able to find the strength to go on until my last
breath, even if some hate that in the name of a so-called CONFLICT OF
INTEREST!!!! And I will continue to stay open to new adventures and new
challenges….
My dear former
assistant, I still love you as a son, please do not fall in the trap of being
successful, success is only an image to your own VISION. Keep your eyes and
your entire you open to new challenges, reinvent yourself all the time and your
present work will benefit tremendously, even if you believe that you have
reached the top of the tree... Remember there are always bigger trees and
different kind or trees…And to advance in our own quest YOU have to try to
claim new trees!!!
And keep in mind:
Do not fall in the trap of those who may misguide you in trying to deny the
people of significance in your past, because those people deserve to be
appreciated today for their so-called “achievements.”
Remember the
unfortunate line: They do not want to know me now because I knew them when they
were nobody!!!
Also, now that you
have responsibilities and people reporting to and relying on you, do not close
their minds to appreciating exciting possible experiences because you believe
you know it all…. Tell them that life is perpetually a new beginning, a new
adventure, a new challenge, and ignore the ones who want to put you down for
reasons I do not need to express.
I wish you the
best my son!!!!
Good advice Bernard! I really relate to how some people just LOVE to criticize behind the simple ignorance of the banner "CONFLICT OF INTEREST"... When I'm confronted with that expired, over used term, I turn it around: "Son, this isn't a conflict of interest... It's a conflict between your interests and mine". Hope to catch you on the same stage as me sometime Bernnie :-) Feels like a good after rehearsal drink: conductor to director (-: Keep being you, and keep reinventing!
ReplyDeleteI love Brian's response... "...it's a conflict between your interests and mine...". Well stated.
ReplyDeleteOf course I *understand* the concept of "Conflict of Interest", but in my experience, it has only been an issue when the person bearing it actually abused the *power* of owning both (or several) positions.
Bernard, in the time that I worked with you, I never experienced this. My perception was that your *interest* was fueled by extracting the very best possible performance, characterization, story-telling, and artistry from whomever you were directing. I spent some of my most formidable years with you as a budding operatic artist, and for that, I am grateful.
And we both know, I'm a bit of a poster child for *self-reinvention*, having been forced by the Universe to do so. Life happens. One medical setback can derail your extraordinary text-book journey to the top. And you can roll over and end it all (yes, it was an option, but I opted out), or you can... reinvent yourself. And now my bio is littered with a crazy, messy, beautiful, "interesting" amalgamation of jazz, blues, folk, rock, musical theater, art song, and opera. Was it a painful reinvention process?... yes, often times. But I would have never discovered the wider palette of range, colors, and artistry... the wider palette of ME, if I'd not gone through it.
Maybe your pseudo-son has not yet experienced *life* yet. I mean REAL LIFE. You know, rock-bottom lows (the suicidal kind) and delirious highs. That is the journey of reinvention... that creates CONVERSIONS of INTEREST, not conflicts. Especially when your intentions remain true... to the art, and to yourself.
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2014 Collage from "Aida" with OperaSLO
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