It seems that yesterday I was still
walking in the streets of Philadelphia or Antananarivo or Paris or Dakar or Taipei
…I don’t like to walk in cities anymore, and when I was younger I loved that so
much… There is nothing left to discover, to see, only the surrounding mediocrity,
the poverty… and people wandering
without knowing where they are going, who they are or what they really want …
What
happened to the dreams of happiness and the dreams of an equal society full of
purpose and aspirations?
Words are silver, but silence is golden
In today’s world, it is accepted, no
actually it is the only way to function: close your eyes, your ears and shove
your tongue in your throat in order NOT to say what you believe could be the
wrong choice, the wrong decision, the wrong behavior…
BUT WRONG ACCORDING TO WHAT???
I don’t even know, it seems that no criteria is in order anymore.
SILENCE IS GOLDEN: Let people choose
perpetually the wrong individuals for different responsibilities in order to obey
today OBLIGATIONS, all based on what they believe is to be fair…. Fair to what?
Fair to whom?
I cannot believe that some regimes 50
or 60 years ago were considered as PUBLIC ENEMIES, and today we do worse… we base our decisions for employing
, casting, hiring on everything except work ethics, real talent, knowledge or devotion.
Enough with that!!!!!
We are now afraid to offend anybody
and everybody by having opinions or expressing judgments….The world around us
does not want US to be able to think, to create, to exist…
All is happening as
we should be dead…Or we should be sitting in an armchair in a retirement home
or community and look through the window at the emptiness around us…
We should
look at the nonsense of life, we should contemplate what has not existed for a
long time in order to justify everybody’s opinion and behavior or we should
respect with no opinions the youth of some, their ambition to be, even though
they still do not know enough…
Finally we should stop existing by being Silent
and understanding of everybody.
We should be able to live in denial,
we should be like them and sometimes worry about the disease or the death of
somebody, in order to prove that we have feelings, we have a soul, and we know
how to be a good person.
But most do not know or actually refuse
to see that the world should not and cannot enclose us in the silence of the
semi-death. The silence of acceptance, sometimes the silence of old age, the silence
of the false peace of the soul….
We always have the strength to tame life, we
should always have a creative knowledge
and the desire to act…
We were and still are even if the majority is not and
will not be…We cannot be satisfied by letting life leading us by the nose, no,
not even life, but the irrelevant events of life …
Those who want to make us live in the
silence have the nerve, the effrontery, and the blinding attitude to believe
that they are superior and in charge of our destiny…
If we try to be, we become
UN EMMERDEUR DE PREMIERE CLASSE, A ROYAL PAIN IN THE ASS, preventing them from
dictating as they look at us with impatience, trying to find a weakness,
expecting a misstep and ready to send us to the doldrums…
They want us in bed at
night, content to still be alive, happy to have good leaders and they force us to
be attentive to the small problems of everybody around us in order to justify our
humanity…
Today it’s snowing…I have seen snow
very often…I do not like it…It creates a false impression of purity all this
immaculate white, a false impression of quietude, of unexpected silence, a
piece of white velvet protecting our wounds.
Julien (Julien was the main character in my novel
“The shattered sky”) walked often in the snow, and for the past 45 years he has
been walking on the white velvet extending on his wounds trying to redo what
was not… he is still walking since the sky was vaguely glued by all these years
trying to finalize what never started.
The shattered sky has changed sky…I
look at Julien and I forgive him… He is no longer that child full of anger…He doesn't want any more to assassinate the truth any more, he wants to reinvent the truth.
The truth? The truth of what? Of the lies of imagination? The Truth
of the unfinished fantasies? Forty five years since the corner of a blue sky in
Paris…
Forty five years??? Did wisdom take over my self-destruction? Does wisdom
leave some bitterness on the truth? Is that the reason why some people like the
snow? Because snow covers the bitterness of the truth?
Julien you are now far, lost in the
uncertain memories, in the memory of the lost senses, but I keep for you a
tenderness full of bewilderment… Surprised to see that you are no longer, you
are someone else, built by life and shaped by others…You too have disappeared
in the fog of life, in the path of life called existence…You have disappeared
recreated by the look of others, you became someone else…
Julien are you still
capable of reshaping the world? Can you rethink it? Or do you also accept the
fact that it is impossible to be yourself? Are you finding refuge in the cocoon
of silence?
LE SILENCE EST D’ARGENT MAIS LA
PAROLE EST D’OR
They always want to know: Is this all
truth? Is your life true? Is it true? True? What does true mean? What is the
TRUTH? Everything is the truth, and all is invented…There is only one truth,
the one we want…
You have a tormented soul…A tormented
soul? Not at all… Only a mind trying to understand the meaning of all this, the
aim of life lost in the infinity of life…I am not tormented, the young Julien
was not tormented, on the contrary, He knew how to tame adversity… he knew how
to stay complete in his fragmentation, he was capable of staying strong and whole…
I love Julien, I admire him, I miss
him…I miss his strength, his passion, his vision…Forty five years since my
decision to start again from scratch, to turn the page, to go conquer a new
world…Where did those years go…They went faster than the years spent to try to
understand, trying to live.
Too many people believe that life is
what it is…We should not…Fatality, fate do not exist, we can change the world
by looking at it in a different way, by interpreting it…Yes, sure, soon I am
going to believe in Santa Klaus, should I just believe in the silence and let
people continue to do whatever and never tell them anything?
Everybody has good reasons for being what he
is, to believe what he believes, to act according to his desires…
So, what
should I expect anything from anybody? Why should I believe that what I know is
more important? Why should I expect people to show some gratitude for what I
did for them and give something back…
After all these years, I still have not
understood that it means nothing…expect nothing from anyone, provoke nothing
and no one…ask for nothing… BUT wait like an idiot that things happen and
accept in SILENCE in order not to be difficult…
What a punishment, what a bore…
I just woke up sleeping in the plane,
was this my last dream? Or a nightmare? Or both? Was I really asleep or just
letting my mind ramble…
Can I be again a gypsy in Seville or a spy in Berlin…
It will never change…Life is a perpetual farce.
Next to me in the plane a couple
is exchanging words of love, they are cooing like two doves, they must be in
their honeymoon…They are both extraordinarily ugly but they look at each other
with eyes full of desire and admiration…They will build a life together, they
will tell each other everything except the truth, they will take care of each
other except for the big decisions, they will love each other with a quiet
love, appeasing and silly…
NO…NO
SILENCE IS SILVER BUT WORDS SHOULD BE
GOLDEN
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