WHERE ARE THEY??????

It seems that too many people disappear from our life after a few years, and we miss them most of the time because we believe they were friends... unfortunately some disappeared because they became famous or important or self important…what a pity to have this kind of attitude, it is really sad, disappointing or even painful to see that human beings can be so low, so ungrateful, ...they believe they have reached a level where we no longer deserve their friendship, they want to ignore the possibility of being thankful for all we did for them, even if we do not ask for anything…

I don’t think I ever forgot my friends or even ignore them because I was lucky and sometimes achieved more than others; if I did and you are reading this, do not hesitate to contact me, to talk to me and even confront me.

If it happened I was not aware of it, I regret it, and will do anything I can to repair the damage I have caused or the friendship I have betrayed.

My family background taught us to help one another, to be loyal in friendship, and even to take risks to help the ones in trouble when times are tough; we were raised as a small minority and the first generation out of the Jewish ghetto of Tunis was my grand father.

We owed our freedom to come out of the ghetto to an Italian Jewish lady who was traveling in Tunisia and became very upset when she visited the Ghetto. She went to see the French consul who answered to her that it was not his problem since the Jews were Tunisian citizens and not French citizens…so she went to see the Bey of Tunisia, who first told her that he was not interested in the fate of the ghetto people and then told her that he was a big classical music lover …He asked her to go back to Italy and come back with some music as a gift to him, he would listen to it and if he liked it, he would allow the Jews to move out of the ghetto… She did, and returned with some music , the Bey loved it and it became the national Anthem of Tunisia , THE HYMN OF THE BEY, before the independence of the country…Legend has it that Verdi is believed to have written this music.

The doors of the ghetto opened, my grand father came out and a new life began for all of us.

Even if I did not live through those times (I am not that old), it is in my genes not to forget where I come from, who I was, where I went, and who I become without forgetting the friends of my early days.

Unfortunately not all human beings behave that way.

How can people forget where they come from and battles they went through themselves and with their loved ones?

They should learn that to succeed is to be faithful to your friends and not to shut out everything else.

I have a long list of individuals who knew me when they were nothing, when they were beginners, when they were unfulfilled, when they were still in the first pangs of BECOMING.

Conductors, directors, singers, administrators, it seems that this race of people can be found in any capacity.  I will NOT mention names of course since I am a very discreet man by nature, and even more fearful of the threat of being sued for character assassination. I am just going to mention a few stories and the guilty ones will no doubt recognize themselves. 

What about this young, very young, almost a child prodigy “wannabeconductor” who begged me to be hired as a replacement chorus master for one production and since he was really a wonderful musician, I gave him the job…he quickly became the official chorus master for that company. He remained very close to me asking my wife Diana advice about singing and how to handle singers… We were treating him like the son we did not have, he was very close to us, asking daily about what to do for this and what to do for that.

Soon I gave him his first conducting job in a very important opera and yes he was fabulous… Very quickly thanks to my recommendation, he was appointed the artistic director of an orchestra and then …then… one thing after the other, he is now one of the most important conductors around and he is still a very young man.

YES he deserves this entire new life… yes he is very talented… But since his tremendous success, he never tried to reach us, he never answered my attempts to see him, probably because now he is a grand MAESTRO and I am merely a common mortal…I really do not care about his success, no I care, he deserves it and I am happy for him, I cared more about the young man and his desire to grow as a man and become the great human being he could have become but he disappeared from our midst.

SHAME ON HIM, no actually I feel sorry for him, because he must be very lonely.

What about this singer who …after years of free voice lessons, after hundreds of hours of talking even when I was not listening because he was repeating himself without even breathing, after asking me what he should do about his spouse who was jealous of his talent, what repertoire he should sing (I was not in the management business yet), how to act, how to sing, how to conduct himself in public, how to deal with the business, how to be a man, how to eat, how not to drink too much, how to talk to his parents,  how to deal with the competition of other singers, how to breathe, how to dream…suddenly became a big star AND NEVER TALKED TO ME AGAIN…When he sees me , or he either says a faint hello, or changes to the other side of the street.

 SHAME ON HIM, no actually I feel sorry for him, he must be very lonely.

And like I said before, I can go on with directors who were interns, administrators who were assistant stage managers, all were good friends and now give a fake smile when they see the people they knew well and turn their head to talk to somebody else because they are important administrators of important companies and have an important life.

SHAME ON THEM, no, actually I feel sorry for them, they must be very lonely

These successful individuals have learned how to succeed in their craft and have had a incredible talent for net working, talking to the right people, the ones who could do something for them, having four lunches on a row if necessary with different influential people.

All this is right if it is your personality, but only if your ambition does not become self destructive, if you do not forget who you are and who YOU WERE.

 

To be successful is a great life story, but keep in touch with the people from your beginnings, share with them your experience, your knowledge, and your friendship with them. Find the time to answer them, to be there when they need you.

There is nothing more satisfying than to give to those who were not as lucky.

To be real as an artist or an art administrator is to not renounce who we were, or the people we knew.

To be successful is to be confident enough and not to fear those, who were our friends when we were at the bottom of the latter.

To be successful is to refuse to be devoured by a mask, by a job description, by the trappings… Do not grow in your new life alone… Otherwise soon, you will find yourself alone, and you will be miserable when success finally eludes you in the end and you will drop your mask of importance.

I know it is difficult sometimes to make this kind of choice, and to know who really were our sincere friends but the risk is worth taking and very fulfilling.

 Actually it is the only way to BE.