How can we define fear? What is the meaning of fear? Can being cautious
sometimes be defined as being fearful? It seems that each day a new fear is
assaulting us: fear of diseases, fear of others betraying us, fear of
relationships going wrong or even right, fear of failing in our profession,
fear of political issues, fear of honestly exchanging ideas, fear of being
direct in our opinions, fear of being funny, fear of life and death, fear of
the consequences of talking about certain subjects with the people involved,
fear of friendship, fear of everything.
Fear, fear, fear, fear!!!!
Why are we so fearful? Until very recently I had no fear in
my life and behaved like nothing negative could ever happen to me!
Is
the world today more dangerous than it was in the past? Is society more
threatening? Is the perpetual judgement
of others of all our actions or thoughts so intense that it creates a world of
questions, doubts and instability?
In
my youth, I had no fear … In my teens, my family arrived in a different country
as foreigners with nothing, and almost immediately I had to deal with major traumas
and death, but I always took risks trying to survive, to be inventive, to be
challenging to myself and sometimes to others with of course consequences, and yet
I never felt fear.
Maybe I had no choice or time for it?
In
my early twenties hitchhiking from Paris to Istanbul or from Paris to Kabul or
from Paris to Nairobi with $3 in my pocket, sleeping anywhere, talking to whomever
was crossing my path, taking so-called jobs to survive, even if most of the
time I knew nothing about these jobs.
Only scars on my body and my soul are the proof that not always
everything was perfect but I never really felt FEAR.
Nothing could
stop me, I thought that nothing could happen to me, nobody could really hurt me
or endanger my existence, learning from each experience about life and others,
building my reservoir of thoughts, memories, feelings and emotions which would
become so important on my path to be in show business and in my so-called
maturity.
May
be some people or many people called me a crazy teen, a crazy adolescent, then a
dangerous personality, a crazy adventurer with no sense of responsibilities, no
barriers in his imaginary world, no respect for others and perpetually
attempting to discover the hidden side of things and people… But, I believe
that I always respected others, I always took care of other’s needs, I always
was considerate of others…I just had no fear about my next move, my next step,
my own destiny, my thoughts to share with others even if I could sometimes feel
the danger in the middle of an adventure... My everyday choices were made
without the fear of failing even if I had the knowledge of the possibility of
it.
Later in my life I had no fear to change my country again,
to go on to new adventures, to try anything new, to establish relationships
with people who were so different to me, and even to learn to speak English - a
task accomplished without fear. I made enemies and I am sure many people around
me accused me of being impossible to deal with, a crazy megalomaniac and
self-centered. I was throwing myself into new ideas, new challenges, news
attempts to learn, to grow, to try, to…BE ALIVE.
And all this went on for many,
many years!
Fear of lacking solutions to go
on, fear of making the wrong move or the wrong decision never stopped me.
Doubts of possible success? Yes, sometimes… Questions about the purpose of
the new adventure and the risk of a possible abyss? Yes, often…
Often
loneliness while waiting for a result? Most of the time...
BUT FEAR? NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!
IS IT BECAUSE I HAD NO CHOICE????
AND THEN IN THE PAST RECENT FEW YEARS, FEAR STARTED TO ATTACK
ME AND SLOWLY TRIED TO TAKE POSSESSION OF MY EVERYDAY THOUGHTS!
IS FEAR THE GIVEN RESULT OF SOME KIND OF ACHIEVEMENT? THE
RESULT OF SETTLING IN A LIFESTYLE OF FINANCIAL, MORAL AND PERSONAL COMFORT? IS
FEAR CREATED BY EDUCATION, FAMILY SURROUNDING OR THE ACCEPTATION OF SOCIETY’S
RULES? AND THE THOUGHTS OF MAYBE LOSING SECURITY?
Are
we more and more living in a secure “bourgeois” world where the possibility of
losing our cell phone creates insecurity, fear and even panic?
WHAT HAPPENED TO ME???????????????????????????????????????????????????
Why in the very recent years I feel fear…. WHAT HAPPENED?????
Did society change very fast and dramatically and continue
to change every day creating instability in acquired knowledge? Is knowledge
not a guarantee of safety anymore? Do we even have a definition of knowledge or
does that change daily, creating unbalance and fear? Do the chances given to us
become nonexistent or full of negativity? Are people like I was cannot hope to
function fearless of consequences? It seems that there is no truth in anything
on which we can base decisions, everybody is throwing opinions about everybody
creating new stories every day based on impressions and rumors! It seems that
around me ALL are full of fear, of incertitude of going forward, of negativity
about a possible wrong turn in an upcoming challenge.
Myself I feel fear
about a lot of things, about taking risks, about knowing new people since
everything changes at an incredible speed.
Did fear become a synonym to
wisdom? Is now wisdom the perpetual attempt to balance between yes and no and
maybe? Is Fear now the rule of life in order to advance in the world but
actually we all forget that fear is becoming the paralysis of creativity?
Are
the consequences after making a mistake much more dramatic than they were?
Every
day I hear “I do not know if I should do this because maybe….” A common line
today is “what if I do this because if not, what can happen?” and this question
too often prevents people to take a decision or to make a step in a new stage
of life.
It seems that everybody (including me) is afraid of creating
new relationships, tempting new challenges, afraid of giving himself, afraid of
hearing the truth, afraid of having a real conversation about life and needs,
afraid of criticism, afraid of honest feelings, afraid of hurting, afraid of
sensitivity, afraid of talking in person, beyond social media.
Social
media gave everybody the protection of not having personal involvement with the
appearance of freedom of thoughts and judgments.
Are my fears, since I do not use social media (I am very
scared of it), probably due to my old age?
Is older age the reason of this
new feeling? I honestly do not think so even if my body is shrinking, my nose
is longer every day, wrinkles are invading my face, and hair is leaving my
head. I look at myself in the mirror and wonder if this face is really the face
of the guy I knew before? The one who was afraid of nothing for so long and
most of his life? Maybe it is due to a beginning of dementia, or Alzheimer?
The
fear of death is a perpetual feeling every day, is it a normal sensation or the
consequence of the disappearance of most of my best friends in the past few
years? Can I say that they died in order to give me a longer life since we owe
to humanity a certain amount of deaths? Do I have to be afraid of death or
should I take it as a normal way of leaving the world and the passionate life
we had and still have?
If fear today is a normal way of existing, maybe for all of us it is time to deal with it, to master it. We cannot ignore it, it is present in our daily life… But we cannot be overwhelmed by fear and become its creature, we have to use it…So, let’s hold it in our hands, let’s look at it, study it and find its weaknesses… Let’s make fear a way of pondering about the next step, the next stage… Let’s make fear an ally to our next decisions and a second person for advice… Life goes too fast to be shadowed with fears!
